WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #65
SHOULD AGING BABY BOOMERS RETIRE?
By and large, Baby Boomers have shattered the conventional tradition that retirement at 65 is automatic. In fact, a sizable segment of our generation has no intention of ever retiring. Well, maybe ... someday.
Research indicates that boomers should delay retirement as long as possible. Why? Working promotes health. Seriously. Of course, it helps if we like our jobs and co-workers, or at least don't dislike it, or them.
Studies cite these work-related benefits:
~ Employment enhances brain stimulation. When boomers are engaged in work, our brains are forced to be focused and sharp in order to follow instructions, make decisions, complete assigned tasks, and meet deadlines.
~ Employment facilitates social interactions. Workplaces provide opportunities to interact with others, in person. Social connections are a bulwark against isolation and loneliness.
~ Employment structures time. Boomers have someplace to go and something to do. Each workday begins with a purpose and each day ends with a sense of accomplishment. Ideally.
Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera ...
NOTE
Despite health benefits, finances influence retirement decisions for most Baby Boomers. Needless to say, financially well-off boomers choose whether to work or retire; all others have to work.
STAY TUNED
Retirement Questions For Boomers ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Thursday, December 27, 2018
Thursday, December 20, 2018
AGING BABY BOOMER GRANDPARENTS SET LIMITS
WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #64
AGING BABY BOOMER GRANDPARENTS SET LIMITS
Baby Boomers adore spending time with grandchildren and forming close bonds with them. We 'do our best' to help with babysitting and overall childcare.
As years pass, aging, health issues, employment status, and assorted commitments increasingly redefine 'our best' and limit our babysitting capability and availability. Our children usually understand. Not always.
Apparently, problems arise for boomers when there are large gaps between the births of first and last grandchildren. Specifically, if our eldest child had children when we were younger, healthier, with more energy and stamina, it was relatively effortless for us to frequently babysit. And, we did.
But, if many years elapse before our youngest child becomes a parent, this child expects us to do as much babysitting for the new babies as we did for our first grandchildren.
In worst-case scenarios, boomer grandparents are accused of showing favoritism to our first grandchildren and neglecting newcomers. Is it insensitive, selfish, or plain ridiculous (perhaps, all three) for our youngest child to not notice that since our first grandchildren arrived we have gotten significantly older, acquired some health issues, and have less energy and stamina?
Solution: Rather than getting defensive, affirm that aging may have decreased our babysitting availability but not our love and affection.
NOTE
Even healthy and fit Baby Boomers admit to passing out from exhaustion after extended babysitting stints with young grandchildren.
This is one of the countless reasons why special kudos go to boomer grandparents who, due to various circumstances, take on the demanding task of becoming full-time guardians to grandchildren. Standing Ovation!
STAY TUNED
Should Boomers Retire ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
BLOG #64
AGING BABY BOOMER GRANDPARENTS SET LIMITS
Baby Boomers adore spending time with grandchildren and forming close bonds with them. We 'do our best' to help with babysitting and overall childcare.
As years pass, aging, health issues, employment status, and assorted commitments increasingly redefine 'our best' and limit our babysitting capability and availability. Our children usually understand. Not always.
Apparently, problems arise for boomers when there are large gaps between the births of first and last grandchildren. Specifically, if our eldest child had children when we were younger, healthier, with more energy and stamina, it was relatively effortless for us to frequently babysit. And, we did.
But, if many years elapse before our youngest child becomes a parent, this child expects us to do as much babysitting for the new babies as we did for our first grandchildren.
In worst-case scenarios, boomer grandparents are accused of showing favoritism to our first grandchildren and neglecting newcomers. Is it insensitive, selfish, or plain ridiculous (perhaps, all three) for our youngest child to not notice that since our first grandchildren arrived we have gotten significantly older, acquired some health issues, and have less energy and stamina?
Solution: Rather than getting defensive, affirm that aging may have decreased our babysitting availability but not our love and affection.
NOTE
Even healthy and fit Baby Boomers admit to passing out from exhaustion after extended babysitting stints with young grandchildren.
This is one of the countless reasons why special kudos go to boomer grandparents who, due to various circumstances, take on the demanding task of becoming full-time guardians to grandchildren. Standing Ovation!
STAY TUNED
Should Boomers Retire ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Thursday, December 13, 2018
AGING BABY BOOMER GRANDPARENTS MAKE PLANS
WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #63
AGING BABY BOOMER GRANDPARENTS MAKE PLANS
Conscientious Baby Boomers gather ideas and make plans for the future, while the rest of us sporadically think about it.
Boomers with grandchildren often include them in whatever ideas, plans, and thoughts we have. Most grandparents would love to reside near enough to be present in grandchildren's lives.
That's a wonderful goal ... but has potential complications.
Complication #1: What happens when our adult children and grandchildren relocate to a different city or state (or country)? Do we follow them? If boomers uproot our lives and settle in a new location, what do we do if children and grandchildren move again?
Complication #2: What happens to married boomers if one spouse wants to relocate with grandchildren and the other refuses to move?
Complication #3: What happens if one child and her children relocate to one region of the state or country and another child and his children relocate to a different region? Where do we go?
NOTE
Rather than following our children's geographical choices, some Baby Boomer grandparents decide to reside wherever we choose and take frequent visits to each child and grandchild's home.
When grandchildren get older, they are invited to our homes for blissfully long visits.
STAY TUNED
Boomer Grandparents Are Not Babysitters ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
BLOG #63
AGING BABY BOOMER GRANDPARENTS MAKE PLANS
Conscientious Baby Boomers gather ideas and make plans for the future, while the rest of us sporadically think about it.
Boomers with grandchildren often include them in whatever ideas, plans, and thoughts we have. Most grandparents would love to reside near enough to be present in grandchildren's lives.
That's a wonderful goal ... but has potential complications.
Complication #1: What happens when our adult children and grandchildren relocate to a different city or state (or country)? Do we follow them? If boomers uproot our lives and settle in a new location, what do we do if children and grandchildren move again?
Complication #2: What happens to married boomers if one spouse wants to relocate with grandchildren and the other refuses to move?
Complication #3: What happens if one child and her children relocate to one region of the state or country and another child and his children relocate to a different region? Where do we go?
NOTE
Rather than following our children's geographical choices, some Baby Boomer grandparents decide to reside wherever we choose and take frequent visits to each child and grandchild's home.
When grandchildren get older, they are invited to our homes for blissfully long visits.
STAY TUNED
Boomer Grandparents Are Not Babysitters ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Thursday, December 6, 2018
AGING BABY BOOMERS AS GRANDPARENTS
WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #62
AGING BABY BOOMERS AS GRANDPARENTS
According to an overwhelming majority of Baby Boomers, becoming grandparents is one of the most treasured gifts we receive for getting older. We love, love, love this role.
What boomers do not love (barely tolerate) is being told by our grandbabies' parents - adult children and their partners - that we must obey a list of rules in order to take care of (or in extreme instances be in the presence of) the little ones.
Overall, the rules consist of enlightened diapering, sleeping, and feeding instructions for infants and toddlers as well as approved and forbidden snacks and entertainment for older children.
Blah, blah, blah ...
If boomers mention the infinite times we diapered, put to bed, fed, and entertained those now setting the rules or suggest beneficial childcare techniques we long ago used on the parents, the mocking begins with versions of 'nobody does that anymore.' It continues with a series of eye-rolls and smirks that culminate with stern admonishments to abandon all old-fashioned, obsolete, outdated, archaic (pick one) techniques.
Generally, boomers forgive the absurdity. Why? Grandchildren are worth it! Plus, let's be honest. Back when boomers were new parents we were probably obnoxious, too. Yup.
NOTE
The top priority for Baby Boomer grandparents is to take excellent care of our grandchildren. But, boomers were never good at listening to lectures and following orders. So, we lovingly tune out and occasionally break ridiculous rules. Shhhhh. It's a secret. Don't tell.
STAY TUNED
Boomer Grandparents Rearrange Future Plans ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
BLOG #62
AGING BABY BOOMERS AS GRANDPARENTS
According to an overwhelming majority of Baby Boomers, becoming grandparents is one of the most treasured gifts we receive for getting older. We love, love, love this role.
What boomers do not love (barely tolerate) is being told by our grandbabies' parents - adult children and their partners - that we must obey a list of rules in order to take care of (or in extreme instances be in the presence of) the little ones.
Overall, the rules consist of enlightened diapering, sleeping, and feeding instructions for infants and toddlers as well as approved and forbidden snacks and entertainment for older children.
Blah, blah, blah ...
If boomers mention the infinite times we diapered, put to bed, fed, and entertained those now setting the rules or suggest beneficial childcare techniques we long ago used on the parents, the mocking begins with versions of 'nobody does that anymore.' It continues with a series of eye-rolls and smirks that culminate with stern admonishments to abandon all old-fashioned, obsolete, outdated, archaic (pick one) techniques.
Generally, boomers forgive the absurdity. Why? Grandchildren are worth it! Plus, let's be honest. Back when boomers were new parents we were probably obnoxious, too. Yup.
NOTE
The top priority for Baby Boomer grandparents is to take excellent care of our grandchildren. But, boomers were never good at listening to lectures and following orders. So, we lovingly tune out and occasionally break ridiculous rules. Shhhhh. It's a secret. Don't tell.
STAY TUNED
Boomer Grandparents Rearrange Future Plans ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Thursday, November 29, 2018
AGING BABY BOOMER IN-LAWS GET SHREWD
WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #61
AGING BABY BOOMERS GET SHREWD
Let's be candid. Lots of Baby Boomer parents-in-law have lots of complaints. Mostly, we miss alone-time with our kids - either to have private chats, share activities, or just hang out - without their mates being present.
Shrewd parents-in-law advise boomers to quash complaints and build good will by ... spending alone-time with the mates, not our children! If boomers are fond of them, it's easier to make an effort to find common ground and mutual interests.
If we are not fond of our daughters- and sons-in-law, disgruntled boomers are advised to give award-winning performances. In other words, put on a happy face and pretend to be gracious. When the act starts to fade and inner groans float close to the surface, make a graceful exit and go home. Then, and only then, privately release pent-up feelings in a spectacular rant.
NOTE
Is playacting phony? Yes. Is it for a good cause and in our best interests? Yes. Shrewd parents-in-law remind Baby Boomers that our children and their mates will be the parents of our future grand babies and - like it or not - will control access to them. We want unlimited access. Grumble! Grumble! Grumble!
STAY TUNED
Boomer Grandparents ...
BLOG #61
AGING BABY BOOMERS GET SHREWD
Let's be candid. Lots of Baby Boomer parents-in-law have lots of complaints. Mostly, we miss alone-time with our kids - either to have private chats, share activities, or just hang out - without their mates being present.
Shrewd parents-in-law advise boomers to quash complaints and build good will by ... spending alone-time with the mates, not our children! If boomers are fond of them, it's easier to make an effort to find common ground and mutual interests.
If we are not fond of our daughters- and sons-in-law, disgruntled boomers are advised to give award-winning performances. In other words, put on a happy face and pretend to be gracious. When the act starts to fade and inner groans float close to the surface, make a graceful exit and go home. Then, and only then, privately release pent-up feelings in a spectacular rant.
NOTE
Is playacting phony? Yes. Is it for a good cause and in our best interests? Yes. Shrewd parents-in-law remind Baby Boomers that our children and their mates will be the parents of our future grand babies and - like it or not - will control access to them. We want unlimited access. Grumble! Grumble! Grumble!
STAY TUNED
Boomer Grandparents ...
Thursday, November 22, 2018
WILL AGING BABY BOOMERS COMPLY WITH 'THE UNOFFICIAL IN-LAW RULEBOOK?'
WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #60
WILL AGING BABY BOOMERS COMPLY WITH 'THE UNOFFICIAL IN-LAW RULEBOOK?'
Stepping into the role of parent-in-law is not always smooth sailing. It's a rare Baby Boomer who flawlessly avoids common blunders. 'Flawless' parents-in-law purportedly comply with an extensive list of DOs And DON'Ts cited in an imaginary 'Unofficial In-Law Rulebook.'
In case you're wondering, muttering profanities are typical responses to the following examples of so-called rules. Let 'em rip!
DO
~ Give up control. Prove it by respecting adult children's independence and whom they choose as mates.
~ Show consideration for boundaries set by offspring and their mates. For example, wait for invitations to their homes instead of spontaneously dropping by.
~ Limit phone calls and texts to avoid being a pesky nuisance.
Yada, Yada, Yada ...
DON'T
~ Interfere by voicing unasked-for opinions or advice.
~ Get insulted if kids call only when it's convenient for them, such as while they're commuting to-and-from work or taking dogs for long walks.
~ Misuse keys to children's homes. If parents are given house keys - for emergency use only - never betray trust by randomly entering their residences when there are no emergencies.
NOTE
Will Baby Boomers comply with 'The In-Law Rulebook?' It depends. The more boomers like our daughters- and sons-in-law, the more effort we make to ensure our kids are happy and have harmonious relationships.
Conversely, boomers who dislike children's mates are not motivated to put much effort into the parent-in-law role. Moreover, some of these boomers believe parents' happiness takes precedence over children's. Do you agree? Disagree?
STAY TUNED
Boomers Miss Our Adult Children ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
BLOG #60
WILL AGING BABY BOOMERS COMPLY WITH 'THE UNOFFICIAL IN-LAW RULEBOOK?'
Stepping into the role of parent-in-law is not always smooth sailing. It's a rare Baby Boomer who flawlessly avoids common blunders. 'Flawless' parents-in-law purportedly comply with an extensive list of DOs And DON'Ts cited in an imaginary 'Unofficial In-Law Rulebook.'
In case you're wondering, muttering profanities are typical responses to the following examples of so-called rules. Let 'em rip!
DO
~ Give up control. Prove it by respecting adult children's independence and whom they choose as mates.
~ Show consideration for boundaries set by offspring and their mates. For example, wait for invitations to their homes instead of spontaneously dropping by.
~ Limit phone calls and texts to avoid being a pesky nuisance.
Yada, Yada, Yada ...
DON'T
~ Interfere by voicing unasked-for opinions or advice.
~ Get insulted if kids call only when it's convenient for them, such as while they're commuting to-and-from work or taking dogs for long walks.
~ Misuse keys to children's homes. If parents are given house keys - for emergency use only - never betray trust by randomly entering their residences when there are no emergencies.
NOTE
Will Baby Boomers comply with 'The In-Law Rulebook?' It depends. The more boomers like our daughters- and sons-in-law, the more effort we make to ensure our kids are happy and have harmonious relationships.
Conversely, boomers who dislike children's mates are not motivated to put much effort into the parent-in-law role. Moreover, some of these boomers believe parents' happiness takes precedence over children's. Do you agree? Disagree?
STAY TUNED
Boomers Miss Our Adult Children ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Thursday, November 15, 2018
AGING BABY BOOMERS BECOME PARENTS-IN-LAW
WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #59
AGING BABY BOOMERS BECOME PARENTS-IN-LAW
Baby Boomers rejoice ... or ... weep when we become parents-in-law. Reactions mostly depend on whom our adult children have chosen as life-mates.
Best-Case Scenario: Boomers approve of, and get along well with, our children's mates. We judge them 'worthy' partners for our offspring and cheerfully take on the role of in-laws. Heartwarming.
Worst-Case Scenario: Boomers disapprove of, and do not get along with, our children's mates. We judge them 'unworthy' partners for our offspring and begrudgingly take on the role of in-laws. Heartbreaking.
Some boomers wince at the word judge, claiming it implies unkindness. In this case, let's set aside implications and focus on reality. Parents do assess and evaluate the merits of partners; we do make judgements, i.e. judge. In our defense, it is done out of love for our kids. Exactly.
NOTE
Baby Boomers who have tense relationships with our children's mates eventually will have to make a monumental decision. Do we diffuse or escalate tensions?
Hint: It is never a good idea to put offspring in the position to choose sides - parents or partners. Usually, parents lose. Ouch!
STAY TUNED
Parent-in-law DOs and DON'Ts ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
BLOG #59
AGING BABY BOOMERS BECOME PARENTS-IN-LAW
Baby Boomers rejoice ... or ... weep when we become parents-in-law. Reactions mostly depend on whom our adult children have chosen as life-mates.
Best-Case Scenario: Boomers approve of, and get along well with, our children's mates. We judge them 'worthy' partners for our offspring and cheerfully take on the role of in-laws. Heartwarming.
Worst-Case Scenario: Boomers disapprove of, and do not get along with, our children's mates. We judge them 'unworthy' partners for our offspring and begrudgingly take on the role of in-laws. Heartbreaking.
Some boomers wince at the word judge, claiming it implies unkindness. In this case, let's set aside implications and focus on reality. Parents do assess and evaluate the merits of partners; we do make judgements, i.e. judge. In our defense, it is done out of love for our kids. Exactly.
NOTE
Baby Boomers who have tense relationships with our children's mates eventually will have to make a monumental decision. Do we diffuse or escalate tensions?
Hint: It is never a good idea to put offspring in the position to choose sides - parents or partners. Usually, parents lose. Ouch!
STAY TUNED
Parent-in-law DOs and DON'Ts ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
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