Thursday, September 27, 2018

AGING BABY BOOMER SIBLINGS - FRIENDS OR ENEMIES?

WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #52
AGING BABY BOOMER SIBLINGS - FRIENDS OR ENEMIES?

Baby Boomers grew up in an era of larger families; most of us have siblings.

Brothers and sisters as best friends are the ... best. What is better than harmonious relationships build on life-long love, trust, and loyalty? Not much. And, there is an added bonus: When our memories get fuzzy, we are able to tap into shared histories and fill the gaps in each other's aging memory banks. Such a relief. 

Regrettably, some boomer siblings have hostile relationships, marked by bitter antagonisms and wicked feuds. Tapping into shared histories dredges up past conflicts that overshadow any semblance of relief gained from filling the gaps in each other's memory banks.

Aside from long-standing rivalries, one of the main causes of sibling disputes is money - our elderly parents' money, not our own.

NOTE
The following are examples of money-related debates, regardless of whether Baby Boomer sibling relationships are harmonious or hostile.

If parents are affluent, albeit elderly, frail, and/or ill, quarrels erupt when debating parents' wealth, e.g. how much of their money should be spent on high-priced, private caregivers and how much should be reserved for each sibling to inherit.

If parents have little or no money, quarrels erupt when debating how much of each sibling's personal funds should be spent on caregivers.

STAY TUNED
Boomers And Elderly Parents ...

CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:  drwendykyman@gmail.com

Thursday, September 20, 2018

AGING BABY BOOMERS REVIVE OLD FRIENDSHIPS

WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #51
AGING BABY BOOMERS REVIVE OLD FRIENDSHIPS

The search for quality friendships has Baby Boomers reaching back in time, hoping to rekindle a few long-lost relationships.

In the past, boomers relied on school and hometown reunions to get together with childhood chums. Despite promises to keep in touch, we often lost contact - until the next reunion.

Nowadays, most boomers have embraced 21st century technology and, whenever we're in the mood, use the Internet to reunite with former pals. Of course, the results of online reunions vary.

Usually, aside from sharing jokes and photos with bygone friends, online reunions consist of sporadic check-ins to 'say hello' or occasional 'catch-up' chats. Sometimes, though, boomers get lucky and seamlessly re-establish close ties with at least one old friend. 

It's wonderful when the years apart melt away as we pick up where a friendship left off, decades ago. If we're extremely lucky, we live near enough to each other for frequent in-person contact.

NOTE
Be prepared: Some former pals may not be receptive to friendship overtures. It is a waste of precious time and energy to take rebuffs personally. It's best for Baby Boomers to move forward to the next names on our lists.

STAY TUNED
Boomer Siblings ...

CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:  drwendykyman@gmail.com

Thursday, September 13, 2018

AGING BABY BOOMERS CHOOSE BUDDIES, NOT FRIENDS

WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #50
AGING BABY BOOMERS CHOOSE BUDDIES, NOT FRIENDS

Immediately after Baby Boomers update relationship criteria and de-clutter relationship closets, we glow with enthusiastic optimism. Boomers are grateful if one or two quality friends are still in our lives and anticipate adding new ones who match our requirements.

Then, reality sinks in and optimism morphs into frustrated pessimism. Why? Although our closets are nearly empty, we can't seem to muster the energy (motivation) to put in the effort (time) to re-fill them. And, although we're grateful if we still have a couple of friends, more and more boomers have lost the patience to deal with drama-fueled friend rules.

In light of those factors, there is an easier way to replenish closets. Fill the empty slots with buddy relationships. Ideal buddies are individuals who do not fulfill current requirements but match enough of them to become congenial 'playmates.'

Once boomers get used to the switch from friends to buddies, most of us enjoy the ease of relaxed, light-hearted, drama-free companionship.

NOTE
If Baby Boomers are able to limit expectations, buddy relationships will thrive. The key is recognizing where our interests coincide with each buddy, without seeking or expecting more. Doing so avoids disappointment and frustration.

STAY TUNED
Boomers Revive Old Friendships ...

CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:    drwendykyman@gmail.com 


Thursday, September 6, 2018

AGING BABY BOOMERS SEARCH FOR NEW FRIENDSHIPS

WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #49
AGING BABY BOOMERS SEARCH FOR NEW FRIENDSHIPS

At first, Baby Boomers' newly de-cluttered relationship closets may feel too empty. Then we realize, clutter-free closets create room to invite a fresh crop of people into our lives. Sounds promising ... until ... boomers ask: Is it possible to find new BFFs (Best Friends Forever) to accompany us on the journey into old age?

Frankly, it is possible but not very probable. Why? As age increases, opportunities to form close friendships decrease - or so it seems. If older boomers are presented with opportunities, compared to when we were younger, friendships are slower to develop.

Building and then maintaining close bonds requires us to flex creaky social-skills muscles and make, what feels like, an enormous effort. If we do not apply sufficient effort, or pay enough attention, potential relationships fade away. How exhausting.

NOTE
Let's admit two bizarre (for us) truths. Many older Baby Boomers (1) have nestled into cozy cocoons and, therefore, (2) have grown reluctant to open our lives to unfamiliar people. Gasp!
Does this mean the unimaginable has happened? Has aging caused boomers to become guarded and cautious? Have we lost our youthful audacious, adventurous spirt? Hmmm ... maybe just a tiny bit???

STAY TUNED
Boomers Choose Buddies, Not Friends ...

CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:  drwendykyman@gmail.com