Thursday, September 13, 2018

AGING BABY BOOMERS CHOOSE BUDDIES, NOT FRIENDS

WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #50
AGING BABY BOOMERS CHOOSE BUDDIES, NOT FRIENDS

Immediately after Baby Boomers update relationship criteria and de-clutter relationship closets, we glow with enthusiastic optimism. Boomers are grateful if one or two quality friends are still in our lives and anticipate adding new ones who match our requirements.

Then, reality sinks in and optimism morphs into frustrated pessimism. Why? Although our closets are nearly empty, we can't seem to muster the energy (motivation) to put in the effort (time) to re-fill them. And, although we're grateful if we still have a couple of friends, more and more boomers have lost the patience to deal with drama-fueled friend rules.

In light of those factors, there is an easier way to replenish closets. Fill the empty slots with buddy relationships. Ideal buddies are individuals who do not fulfill current requirements but match enough of them to become congenial 'playmates.'

Once boomers get used to the switch from friends to buddies, most of us enjoy the ease of relaxed, light-hearted, drama-free companionship.

NOTE
If Baby Boomers are able to limit expectations, buddy relationships will thrive. The key is recognizing where our interests coincide with each buddy, without seeking or expecting more. Doing so avoids disappointment and frustration.

STAY TUNED
Boomers Revive Old Friendships ...

CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:    drwendykyman@gmail.com 


Thursday, September 6, 2018

AGING BABY BOOMERS SEARCH FOR NEW FRIENDSHIPS

WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #49
AGING BABY BOOMERS SEARCH FOR NEW FRIENDSHIPS

At first, Baby Boomers' newly de-cluttered relationship closets may feel too empty. Then we realize, clutter-free closets create room to invite a fresh crop of people into our lives. Sounds promising ... until ... boomers ask: Is it possible to find new BFFs (Best Friends Forever) to accompany us on the journey into old age?

Frankly, it is possible but not very probable. Why? As age increases, opportunities to form close friendships decrease - or so it seems. If older boomers are presented with opportunities, compared to when we were younger, friendships are slower to develop.

Building and then maintaining close bonds requires us to flex creaky social-skills muscles and make, what feels like, an enormous effort. If we do not apply sufficient effort, or pay enough attention, potential relationships fade away. How exhausting.

NOTE
Let's admit two bizarre (for us) truths. Many older Baby Boomers (1) have nestled into cozy cocoons and, therefore, (2) have grown reluctant to open our lives to unfamiliar people. Gasp!
Does this mean the unimaginable has happened? Has aging caused boomers to become guarded and cautious? Have we lost our youthful audacious, adventurous spirt? Hmmm ... maybe just a tiny bit???

STAY TUNED
Boomers Choose Buddies, Not Friends ...

CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:  drwendykyman@gmail.com



Thursday, August 30, 2018

AGING BABY BOOMERS DE-CLUTTER RELATIONSHIP CLOSETS

WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #48
AGING BABY BOOMERS DE-CLUTTER RELATIONSHIP CLOSETS

When Baby Boomers de-clutter relationship closets, we unearth people who do not fit our updated criteria, i.e. traits we deem essential for the journey into old age. Oh-oh!

Is it cruel to detach from people we have outgrown, as if they are pieces of worn-out clothing that no longer fit? Cruel or not, de-cluttering is a natural part of aging. All Baby Boomers are doing it, or will do it.

As boomers accept (sort of) our mortality, we acknowledge (kind of) that our life-clocks are ticking; time is slipping away. Wise boomers maximize whatever time remains by enhancing our lives in every way possible. One way is choosing quality relationships and disengaging from those that aren't.

NOTE
Beware of the outrageous possibility that people may detach from us because we no longer fit their updated relationship criteria. How dare they!

STAY TUNED
Boomers Search For New Friendships ...

CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:   drwendykyman@gmail.com

Thursday, August 23, 2018

AGING BABY BOOMERS EVALUATE RELATIONSHIPS

WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #46
AGING BABY BOOMERS EVALUATE RELATIONSHIPS

If Baby Boomers view relationships through the aging-wisdom lens, we are able to accurately identify those that enhance and enrich our lives. This ability comes in handy when we choose who will accompany us on the journey into old age.

Before making irrevocable decisions, some boomers do formal evaluations to double-check accuracy. Why not give it a try?
The following is one example of a formal relationship evaluation.

(1) Write down a list of essential relationship criteria. Itemize, then prioritize, e.g. mutual love, honesty, trust, reciprocity, respect, kindness, open communication, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

(2) Write down a list of every friend, associate, acquaintance, and romantic partner/s. (Unsurprisingly, family is an entirely separate subject.)

(3) Match names with essential criteria. Although one glance provides adequate evidence, compile two written lists; one composed of those who meet all or most criteria and another composed of those who do not.

(4) It is decision time. Are you prepared to let go of relationships that do not meet essential criteria? Are you willing to make exceptions? Who gets exemptions? Why?

NOTE
Quality relationships enrich Baby Boomers' lives and enhance wellbeing.
Negative relationships damage lives and diminish wellbeing.
Easy choice!

STAY TUNED
Boomers Analyze Relationship Choices ...

CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:   drwendykyman@gmail.com

Thursday, August 16, 2018

AGING BABY BOOMERS EVALUATE RELATIONSHIPS

WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #46
AGING BABY BOOMERS EVALUATE RELATIONSHIPS

When Baby Boomers view relationships through the aging-wisdom lens, we are able to accurately identify those that enhance and enrich our lives. This ability comes in handy when we choose who will accompany us on the journey into old age.

Before making irrevocable decisions, some boomers do formal evaluations to double-check accuracy. Why not give it a try?

The following is one example of a formal relationship evaluation.
Hint: Written responses are encouraged. Writing boosts the thought process and also provides a record for future review.

(1) Compile a list of essential relationship criteria. Itemize, then prioritize, e.g. mutual love, honesty, trust, reciprocity, respect, kindness, open communication, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

(2) Compile a list of every friend, associate, acquaintance, and romantic partner(s). (Unsurprising, family is an entirely separate subject.)

(3) Match names with essential criteria. Although one glance provides clear-cut evidence, compile two lists; one composed of those who meet all or most criteria and another of those who do not.

(4) It is decision time. Are you willing to let go of all relationships that do not meet essential criteria? Are you willing to make exceptions. Who gets exemptions? Why?

NOTE
Quality relationships enrich Baby Boomers lives and enhance wellbeing.
Negative relationships damage lives and diminish wellbeing.
Easy choice!

STAY TUNED
Boomers Analyze Relationship Choices ...

CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:  drwendykyman@gmail.com

Thursday, August 9, 2018

AGING BABY BOOMERS ASK FOR (DEMAND) RECIPROCAL RELATIONSHIPS

WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #45
AGING BABY BOOMERS ASK FOR (DEMAND) RECIPROCAL RELATIONSHIPS

Baby Boomers are observing that the older we get, the less likely we are to accept lack of reciprocity in relationships. Our patience for lopsided compromising, appeasing, and accommodating has run out. Enough is enough!

Reciprocity denotes equal give-and-take. We concede on various disputed issues and our romantic partners and friends acquiesce on others. Over the course of time, not simultaneously, concessions mostly even out.

So, what happens when boomers ask for (demand) reciprocity in relationships?
We will encounter a broad range of resistance and turmoil. Resistance typically ranges from mild complaints to bitter resentment; turmoil typically ranges from constant conflicts to breakups.
What happens next is deciding whether to stay resolute or to withdraw demands. 

NOTE
As many Baby Boomers already have experienced, there are individuals in our lives who will agree to full reciprocity but do not follow through - as if we won't notice. Yes we do!

STAY TUNED
Boomers Evaluate Relationships ...

CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:   drwendykyman@gmail.com

Thursday, August 2, 2018

ARE AGING BABY BOOMERS WILLING TO COMPROMISE?

WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #44
ARE AGING BABY BOOMERS WILLING TO COMPROMISE?

At this point in Baby Boomers' lives, patience for drama has waned as desire for harmony has waxed. Indeed!

Compromise plays a huge role in reducing drama and achieving harmony. Duh!
Compromise is an essential ingredient in creating and sustaining happy, fulfilling relationships. Yet, it does not guarantee 100% drama-free harmony. Double Duh!!

Then again, the older we get, the tougher it is to make concessions. Then again, boomers are astute enough to know we cannot always get our way. Triple Duh!!!
Then again, why continue to be involved in relationships that require compromises we no longer want to make?

NOTE
Quality relationships are precious, but they require effort. As Baby Boomers are discovering, we have to decide who in our current lives is worth the effort. Yup. It is decision time.

STAY TUNED
Boomers Ask For (Demand) Reciprocal Relationships ...

CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:     drwendykyman@gmail.com