Thursday, June 28, 2018

AGING BABY BOOMERS LEARN 21st CENTURY DATING RULES

WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #39
AGING BABY BOOMERS LEARN 21st CENTURY DATING RULES

Every decade of a monogamous marriage adds ten additional layers of rust on unused dating skills. No big deal ... until those marriages end and the now-single Baby Boomers want to re-enter the dating game.

Before re-entry, accumulated rust has to be scrubbed away. After scrubbing is done, there's another chore: adjusting our mindsets to 21st century dating rules, i.e. arbitrary guidelines, conventional etiquette, codes of 'proper behavior', et al. Whew!

Let's reminisce about 20th century rules - way, way back in time when formerly long-married boomers last dated and gender roles were definitively detailed. Accordingly, men initiated everything, from first dates (that they paid for) to marriage proposals. Women waited for landline phones to ring and either said 'yes' or 'no' to men's invitations. Do we still think those were 'the good old days?'

Boomers who are skilled in 21st century dating give mostly positive reviews. Overall, men feel a sense of relief. They applaud women making the first moves and appreciate their sharing costs of dates. Increasingly, boomer women 'enjoy the power' of initiating - when our overtures are accepted. We are not fond of rejections. Who is?

NOTE
Generally speaking, homosexual dating rules have always been more egalitarian than heterosexual rules.

STAY TUNED
Newly-Single Boomers Take Aging Bodies On Dates ...

CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:   drwendykyman@gmail.com




Thursday, June 21, 2018

AGING BABY BOOMERS LEARN 21st CENTURY DATING RULES

WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #39
AGING BABY BOOMERS LEARN 21st CENTURY DATING RULES

Every decade of a monogamous marriage produces layers of rust on unused dating skills. Not a concern ... until those marriages end and newly-single Baby Boomers want to get back into the dating game.

To start, accumulated rust has to be scrubbed away. After the scrubbing is done, we have to learn 21st century dating rules. Whew!

Let's reminisce about 20th century rules - way, way back when formerly long-married boomers last dated. Then, men initiated everything from first dates (that they paid for) to marriage proposals. Women waited for landline, corded phones to ring and either said 'yes' or 'no' to invitations. Do we still think those were 'the good old days?'

Boomers who are skilled in 21st century dating give mostly positive reviews. Overall, men feel a sense of relief. They applaud women making the first moves and appreciate their sharing costs of dates. Increasingly, boomer women enjoy 'the power' of initiating - when our overtures are accepted. We are not fond of rejections. Who is?

NOTE
Generally speaking, homosexual dating rules have always been more egalitarian than heterosexual rules.

STAY TUNED
Newly-Single Boomers Take Aging Bodies On Dates ...

CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com 

Thursday, June 14, 2018

AGING BABY BOOMERS LEAP INTO REPLACEMENT RELATIONSHIPS

WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #38
AGING BABY BOOMERS LEAP INTO REPLACEMENT RELATIONSHIPS

Baby Boomers know a lot. Just about all of us know several boomers who were recently widowed or divorced. We probably all know at least one who made the speedy leap into a replacement relationship. And, we all know leaps, more often than not, are frantic efforts to fill the void left by lost mates.

Mental health professionals advise those who are recently widowed and divorced to spend a full year adjusting to life without long-term partners. During this time, no life-changing decisions should be made - romantic or otherwise. 

Most boomers agree, in theory. However, in practice, quite a few new singles start serious romantic involvements before a year is up.

Depending on circumstances, it may be okay to forgo the wait. What is not okay (potentially disastrous) is doing so because we're desperate to avoid being alone.

NOTE
All too often replacement relationships are attempts to bypass the panic and pain of losing partners. Regrettably, the attempts are futile. There is no magic detour away from grief. If only there were.

STAY TUNED
Boomers Learn 21st Century Dating Skills ...

CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:              drwendykyman@gmail.com





Thursday, June 7, 2018

AGING BABY BOOMERS FORGIVE

WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #37
AGING BABY BOOMERS FORGIVE

Baby Boomers who have been betrayed must forgive...ourselves.
Too many of us do the opposite; we attack ourselves.

Attacks often materialize as self-blaming rants that repeatedly play on our inner soundtracks. One common rant accuses: 'Why didn't we safeguard ourselves from being betrayed, and from betrayers?'

Preliminary answers emerge when boomers take a step back and objectively look at the totality of our circumstances at the time of betrayals. What information was available to us? Did we have supportive helping hands and resources to lift us out of our situations. Were we unwittingly following a pattern of learned behaviors?
Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Forgiving ourselves is the epitome of forgiveness. The path to self-forgiveness begins by replacing internal scolding with internal (and external) nurturance, and exchanging self-blame for self-compassion. Add heaps of self-love alongside profound gratitude for what we have overcome.

NOTE
Stumbling blocks litter the self-forgiveness path. It's easy to stumble when coming across the formidable block that inspects Baby Boomers' roles in relationship betrayals. Uh-oh! Hold on tight. 


STAY TUNED
Boomers Leap Into Replacement Relationships ...

CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:             drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:       facebook.com/Baby Boomer Memos