WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #45
AGING BABY BOOMERS ASK FOR (DEMAND) RECIPROCAL RELATIONSHIPS
Baby Boomers are observing that the older we get, the less likely we are to accept lack of reciprocity in relationships. Our patience for lopsided compromising, appeasing, and accommodating has run out. Enough is enough!
Reciprocity denotes equal give-and-take. We concede on various disputed issues and our romantic partners and friends acquiesce on others. Over the course of time, not simultaneously, concessions mostly even out.
So, what happens when boomers ask for (demand) reciprocity in relationships?
We will encounter a broad range of resistance and turmoil. Resistance typically ranges from mild complaints to bitter resentment; turmoil typically ranges from constant conflicts to breakups.
What happens next is deciding whether to stay resolute or to withdraw demands.
NOTE
As many Baby Boomers already have experienced, there are individuals in our lives who will agree to full reciprocity but do not follow through - as if we won't notice. Yes we do!
STAY TUNED
Boomers Evaluate Relationships ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Thursday, August 9, 2018
Thursday, July 12, 2018
DO AGING SINGLE BABY BOOMERS REALLY KNOW OUR DATES?
WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #41
DO AGING BABY BOOMERS REALLY KNOW OUR DATES?
Even if it has been decades since newly-single Baby Boomers last dated, everyone recollects the getting-acquainted stage of dating. Some memories are sweet; others we rather not remember.
In the here-and-now, new singles face different choices than we did when younger. During the getting-acquainted stage we now have to choose which portions of our extensive life histories to share with dates, and which to edit. Seems reasonable until we realize, despite charming flirtations and engaging conversations, our dates are also editing.
Then, curiosity takes hold: "What are they concealing?"
Dating boomers are advised to balance a respect for privacy with the itch to know everything. Isn't it strange that our balance gets a bit wobbly as we get older? And, when have The Baby Boomers actually followed advice?
Experienced daters have learned there is no defined timetable for mutual disclosure of unedited personal details. So, what do we do?
NOTE
Savvy Baby Boomers view dating as an interview process. After a few lighthearted get-togethers, if commonsense and aging wisdom signal potential for a serious relationship, these boomers intensify the interviews.
Tech-proficient boomers scour familiar and obscure online sites to uncover relevant information. Be prepared for the boomerang effect. Ouch!
Suspicious boomers begin with the savvy and tech approaches but add extremely in-depth background searches, (almost) sure potential relationship partners are hiding sordid pasts. Suspicious affluent boomers hire private detectives to conduct investigations. Those without extra funds, rely on DIY tactics.
Would you? How would you react to being investigated?
STAY TUNED
Boomers Shatter Dating Traditions ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
BLOG #41
DO AGING BABY BOOMERS REALLY KNOW OUR DATES?
Even if it has been decades since newly-single Baby Boomers last dated, everyone recollects the getting-acquainted stage of dating. Some memories are sweet; others we rather not remember.
In the here-and-now, new singles face different choices than we did when younger. During the getting-acquainted stage we now have to choose which portions of our extensive life histories to share with dates, and which to edit. Seems reasonable until we realize, despite charming flirtations and engaging conversations, our dates are also editing.
Then, curiosity takes hold: "What are they concealing?"
Dating boomers are advised to balance a respect for privacy with the itch to know everything. Isn't it strange that our balance gets a bit wobbly as we get older? And, when have The Baby Boomers actually followed advice?
Experienced daters have learned there is no defined timetable for mutual disclosure of unedited personal details. So, what do we do?
NOTE
Savvy Baby Boomers view dating as an interview process. After a few lighthearted get-togethers, if commonsense and aging wisdom signal potential for a serious relationship, these boomers intensify the interviews.
Tech-proficient boomers scour familiar and obscure online sites to uncover relevant information. Be prepared for the boomerang effect. Ouch!
Suspicious boomers begin with the savvy and tech approaches but add extremely in-depth background searches, (almost) sure potential relationship partners are hiding sordid pasts. Suspicious affluent boomers hire private detectives to conduct investigations. Those without extra funds, rely on DIY tactics.
Would you? How would you react to being investigated?
STAY TUNED
Boomers Shatter Dating Traditions ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Thursday, May 31, 2018
WELCOME TO BABY BOOMER MEMOS
BLOG #36
AGING BABY BOOMERS RECOVER FROM BETRAYAL
A number of Baby Boomers are currently experiencing the fierce pain of betrayal. The rest of us vividly recall past painful experiences, although the sting is (mostly) long gone. Betrayals manifest in assorted ways, but the types that destroy romantic liaisons and friendships (e.g. infidelity, deception) are particularly brutal.
Healing from betrayal is a delicate process that requires self-awareness and blunt honesty, in order to gain insights into our motives and actions during relationships. Yes. The healing process puts the focus on us, not the betrayers.
Self-awareness and blunt honesty are powerful eye-openers. For example, were we really clueless, truly blindsided by betrayals? Or, did we have legitimate suspicions but, for various reasons, chose to quash them? What were those reasons? Powerful eye-openers, for sure!
NOTE
When boomers are betrayed, trust gets shattered ... and we feel shattered. Essential steps in the healing process are relearning self-trust and restoring self-confidence. Together, they boost our belief that from now on we will be discerning when selecting with whom to form new intimate bonds. Thankfully, Baby Boomers' aging wisdom gives us a head start.
STAY TUNED
Boomers Forgive ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: facebook.com/baby boomer memos
BLOG #36
AGING BABY BOOMERS RECOVER FROM BETRAYAL
A number of Baby Boomers are currently experiencing the fierce pain of betrayal. The rest of us vividly recall past painful experiences, although the sting is (mostly) long gone. Betrayals manifest in assorted ways, but the types that destroy romantic liaisons and friendships (e.g. infidelity, deception) are particularly brutal.
Healing from betrayal is a delicate process that requires self-awareness and blunt honesty, in order to gain insights into our motives and actions during relationships. Yes. The healing process puts the focus on us, not the betrayers.
Self-awareness and blunt honesty are powerful eye-openers. For example, were we really clueless, truly blindsided by betrayals? Or, did we have legitimate suspicions but, for various reasons, chose to quash them? What were those reasons? Powerful eye-openers, for sure!
NOTE
When boomers are betrayed, trust gets shattered ... and we feel shattered. Essential steps in the healing process are relearning self-trust and restoring self-confidence. Together, they boost our belief that from now on we will be discerning when selecting with whom to form new intimate bonds. Thankfully, Baby Boomers' aging wisdom gives us a head start.
STAY TUNED
Boomers Forgive ...
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: facebook.com/baby boomer memos
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